Song of a Sparrow

A very wise woman in my life (Mom!) is very good at coming up with analogies and allegories.  I seriously believe she should be publishing her thoughts (move over Pilgrim's Progress, here comes my mom!).  Anyway, she would say this analogy is very off the cuff and very much in its rough stages, but after a night complaining to her through some very long phone calls and emails about all my "feelings" I think it was the perfect reminder I needed to hear.  Be encouraged by this mom of mine who happens to know a thing or two:  "I do know God's heart well enough to trust that His timing always reaps the richest blessings. I think when you give it less of your attention and your valuable time, it makes more space for God to lead and usher in the next thing He has in store. Here's my off- the-cuff crumbly analogy - Say you were a little girl on a journey with your dad, and you really, really wanted a delicious ice cream cone and you were pretty sure that somewhe...

The only thing that could have made this more perfect would have been the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack playing in the background.

God knows better. He sees.  He cares.  He loves.

Sometimes my eyes are blind to Thee. With weak faith, little I see The works of Your invisible hand; Evenso, You help me to stand. "My grace is sufficient for you." Really, Lord? Is it true? I want to believe that oh so much, But to these earthly things I clutch. My lips that utter "Thy will be done," Belong to feet that retreat and run. My head reminds "He is all in all;" Nevertheless, does this heart fall. Spirit guide me back to Thee. Jesus make Thyself all I see. Do remember the Father who keeps us from falling. The One whose Name I'm so desperately calling. Single or married, rich or poor, Healthy or sick, let me want no more Than Christ Himself, His body and blood, That washes clean this heart of mud. -KF

You may often hear the world say: "Ask for forgiveness, not permission." About something you want to do that maybe your parents or someone in authority over you may not necessarily approve of. But hear the word of the Lord today: "To do righteousness and justice is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice." Prov. 21:3 And here: "To obey is better than to sacrifice..." 1 Samuel 15:22b Just think about that today.

Written at a time (four years ago) when I was struck with fear realizing that my friends and I were all really growing up and things wouldn't be the same anymore: "God, You will always be there, always be faithful.  There won't be another one of (insert names of my dearest friends), but there will be the new people you bring into my life for a reason.  Lord I need to stop thinking about myself so much, get my emotions under control - not let them control me, and just wait, wait, wait to see Your face.  Loss is scary and lonely, but what I've learned... is that loss is totally necessary to realize that You are all I have and all I need.  If my worst fears come, I still have You... After reading some of Elisabeth Elliot's books, I just felt called to be so much more, to desire and love You more; it's such a different and deeper relationship with You.  I can't get any other word for this feeling but 'more.'  There is more of something, You?, Kno...

I do not think my testimony is a common one.  I mean, I've met people who have similar stories, but it's not the kind of testimony you typically hear in a sermon or a Christian conference.  Often you hear some story of someone who, by God's grace, turned from a deeply disturbing and destructive path.  Drug addictions, violence, explicit sexual lifestyles, stealing, abused childhoods, poverty, false religions, etc. you get the point.  While very moved by all of these testimonies I could never relate directly.  I was the girl brought up by two very loving parents, who got along well with my siblings, who loved going to church and believed in Jesus for as long as I can remember; and I don't think I was ever grounded...ever.  I am not saying this to make myself sound good, because I know I'm not.  I am hopelessly flawed indeed, but I'm just saying this to illustrate how I could not relate.  My idea of rebellion was sharing a soda with my friend when m...

On the chance that anyone, other than my cousin, actually reads this blog I just want to inform you I am changing the title and the domain.  It was once "Surviving Grad." discussing my adventures of moving away from home and becoming a graduate student.  Now that doesn't seem to fit anymore.  While indeed I am still a graduate student and have many adventures, that is not really the emphasis I want to put on this blog.  I even am not fond of the title I made right now, so don't be surprised if you log on in a few weeks and find a new name.  I'm sure it will come to me eventually, but in the meantime it doesn't make sense to wait to post until I have the "perfect" blog name that I would like.  For now, "The Single Rose" it is, because in the bouquet of gifts God has bestowed on my life, singleness is my rose.  A little thorny at times, but also the most beautiful. Part of the change has to do with this stirring inside of me.  I have been i...

My friends wanted to show me last night a little eatery/bar where they had gone the last semester. Swaby's. We were in town and they insisted that it was just a place worth walking in and around and out of. Let me say... there truly are few words to describe it. It is a place both intriguing and creepy all at the same time. Like one of those weird little shops in a scary movie where you are waiting for the dolls to come alive or something freaky to pop out at you. There are so many things to look at and ponder. In essence it is a bar-museum because the owner went around the world collecting these curiosities of the past. Most of the items are replicas of famous artifacts that are either in a museum around the world or in the new and better Swaby's of New York City. While entertaining on the surface, it was actually deeply disturbing. The only original item that was not a replica was the first ever electric chair from the Auburn Prison of New York. Displayed for all ...