Loss and Gain

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Written at a time (four years ago) when I was struck with fear realizing that my friends and I were all really growing up and things wouldn't be the same anymore:

"God, You will always be there, always be faithful.  There won't be another one of (insert names of my dearest friends), but there will be the new people you bring into my life for a reason.  Lord I need to stop thinking about myself so much, get my emotions under control - not let them control me, and just wait, wait, wait to see Your face.  Loss is scary and lonely, but what I've learned... is that loss is totally necessary to realize that You are all I have and all I need.  If my worst fears come, I still have You...

After reading some of Elisabeth Elliot's books, I just felt called to be so much more, to desire and love You more; it's such a different and deeper relationship with You.  I can't get any other word for this feeling but 'more.'  There is more of something, You?, Knowledge?, Purpose? I don't know but I feel called to more and so that is what I ask for.  Give me faith like David, wisdom like Solomon, bravery like Esther, and love like Jesus. 

Isaiah 43:1b-2 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.  When you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.'"

I have hopefully grown a little since then.  Change, though bittersweet, does not seem so fearsome.  Whether passing through rivers or flames, God will always be there and will be faithful.  I may lose some precious things in this life, but that is nothing compared to the gain of living in Christ.  Paul tells us, "to live is Christ and to die is gain."  How true that is!  I pray for the rest of my life I will be asking Jesus, "please just bring me more of You."  He is the only thing that satisfies and the only thing that lasts.  He is the only one worth having.  Thank you Lord Jesus that You have bridged that gap for us that we may one day dwell with You forever!

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