Song of a Sparrow

A very wise woman in my life (Mom!) is very good at coming up with analogies and allegories.  I seriously believe she should be publishing her thoughts (move over Pilgrim's Progress, here comes my mom!).  Anyway, she would say this analogy is very off the cuff and very much in its rough stages, but after a night complaining to her through some very long phone calls and emails about all my "feelings" I think it was the perfect reminder I needed to hear.  Be encouraged by this mom of mine who happens to know a thing or two:  "I do know God's heart well enough to trust that His timing always reaps the richest blessings. I think when you give it less of your attention and your valuable time, it makes more space for God to lead and usher in the next thing He has in store. Here's my off- the-cuff crumbly analogy - Say you were a little girl on a journey with your dad, and you really, really wanted a delicious ice cream cone and you were pretty sure that somewhe...

The only thing that could have made this more perfect would have been the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack playing in the background.

God knows better. He sees.  He cares.  He loves.

Sometimes my eyes are blind to Thee. With weak faith, little I see The works of Your invisible hand; Evenso, You help me to stand. "My grace is sufficient for you." Really, Lord? Is it true? I want to believe that oh so much, But to these earthly things I clutch. My lips that utter "Thy will be done," Belong to feet that retreat and run. My head reminds "He is all in all;" Nevertheless, does this heart fall. Spirit guide me back to Thee. Jesus make Thyself all I see. Do remember the Father who keeps us from falling. The One whose Name I'm so desperately calling. Single or married, rich or poor, Healthy or sick, let me want no more Than Christ Himself, His body and blood, That washes clean this heart of mud. -KF

You may often hear the world say: "Ask for forgiveness, not permission." About something you want to do that maybe your parents or someone in authority over you may not necessarily approve of. But hear the word of the Lord today: "To do righteousness and justice is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice." Prov. 21:3 And here: "To obey is better than to sacrifice..." 1 Samuel 15:22b Just think about that today.

Written at a time (four years ago) when I was struck with fear realizing that my friends and I were all really growing up and things wouldn't be the same anymore: "God, You will always be there, always be faithful.  There won't be another one of (insert names of my dearest friends), but there will be the new people you bring into my life for a reason.  Lord I need to stop thinking about myself so much, get my emotions under control - not let them control me, and just wait, wait, wait to see Your face.  Loss is scary and lonely, but what I've learned... is that loss is totally necessary to realize that You are all I have and all I need.  If my worst fears come, I still have You... After reading some of Elisabeth Elliot's books, I just felt called to be so much more, to desire and love You more; it's such a different and deeper relationship with You.  I can't get any other word for this feeling but 'more.'  There is more of something, You?, Kno...

I do not think my testimony is a common one.  I mean, I've met people who have similar stories, but it's not the kind of testimony you typically hear in a sermon or a Christian conference.  Often you hear some story of someone who, by God's grace, turned from a deeply disturbing and destructive path.  Drug addictions, violence, explicit sexual lifestyles, stealing, abused childhoods, poverty, false religions, etc. you get the point.  While very moved by all of these testimonies I could never relate directly.  I was the girl brought up by two very loving parents, who got along well with my siblings, who loved going to church and believed in Jesus for as long as I can remember; and I don't think I was ever grounded...ever.  I am not saying this to make myself sound good, because I know I'm not.  I am hopelessly flawed indeed, but I'm just saying this to illustrate how I could not relate.  My idea of rebellion was sharing a soda with my friend when m...