Song of a Sparrow

I can't remember a time in my life that I've had so little sleep. 2 hours last night and I'm still going!  Keep rooting for me :)

With Springtime finally appearing up here in Ithaca, I notice some things about Spring are the same at home and some things are missing.  Things I didn't notice meant so much to me while I was there: 1. The smell of Long Island.  Ithaca doesn't really have one the air feels very clear, which I guess is actually a better thing.  But while L.I.'s might not always be a pretty smell, it's home.  This is the time of year I would park my car down by the water with my journal and a snack and take in that salty-sea-mixed-with-boat-fuel smell. 2. Stupid Seagulls... I hate them when they try to steal my french fries at the beach or when they poop on my car, but there is something home-y about rolling down my car windows and hearing the seagulls squawk as they fly around scavenging. 3. The first buds of life coming out of the ground around my house... I don't have a garden here (yet!). 4. The sound of my dad's pond trickling when I open my windows for some fresh ai...

I finally found a title that I like for this blog, that I feel applies exactly to what I want to say about my life.  I will describe in more detail eventually, but right now I have to get back to writing a paper.  Just wanted to inform you that the title is officially changed and hopefully this one will stick and I won't get sick of it. ;)

Today, a little surprise thought came to me.  It put in me a hope and a fear that my plans might change.  The plans that I left to God saying, "Here is the choice I made - do with it what You will," may now require me to make a new choice.  I really just wanted Him to make the choices for me from here on in now that I thought I did my part. As my comforts and joys have been settling themselves into place in the season of life I am in now, it causes me to wonder if I really want more than this.  The truth is I want more of whatever will bring me closer to God.  If my plans change and I go to new places and new horizons, well then I will continue to trust in Him just the same... but it is unexpected and it will mean sacrificing other things, other hopes that I may be holding onto deep down inside, and always, always trusting in Him.

This last little paragraph from a Spurgeon devotional this morning just gave me a new energy with which to start my day.  It's one of those rainy icky mornings where I know I have much ahead of me and should probably already be at school but I'm still in pajamas in bed... In all the things that I find oppressive about life's environment and even in battling my own lazy humanly tendencies (which in this case I think it more the issue - because overall my life is quite blessed I should not be complaining), I have the comfort of the love of Christ.  Remembering His love and aspiring to reflect such great love gives me a new vitality to draw from as I begin a new day: "We never would have known Christ's love in all its heights and depths if He had not died; nor could we guess the Father's deep affection if He had not given His Son to die. The common mercies we enjoy all sing of love, just as the seashell, when we put it to our ears, whispers the sounds of the dee...

"Lord I cry out to you from the darkness, 'Bring me light to extinguish my fears,' help me count every one of your mercies as you count every one of my tears. And I need not face this world without you when I leave the comfort of my home, but I need the same faith you showed to me because I know narrow is the road." These are words from one of my sister's songs.  It gets me every single time.  I can picture her sitting in her college apartment writing this prayer out in her journal and then one day it was put to music and made even more beautiful.  This is where I am now.  And it's a comfort to know she went before me, but even more an encouragement to know that the Lord goes before me.  That He will bring light to extinguish my fears and I need not face this world without Him. Thank you Jesus.

So... I'm setting up my DropBox and pretty much moving my whole life to this website and thinking "Lord, I pray that no one ever hacks this company or their computers never crash, because I am taking all of this off my computer and outsourcing it."  And in the process (though if I'm up this late I should be studying so I am having a half-panic attack about all I need to accomplish in the meantime) I came across a note I wrote to myself on March 14th of last year.  I think it's either ironic or God reminding me of lessons He is teaching or both... because it's talking about humbleness and last year I seemed really excited by the idea and this year as I feel it's actually happening, that is a lot more of challenge: "I would loooove to write a book about humbleness.   It just came to me today that this is something I want to write about, because it is something I want to display my whole life long.   Humbleness is not one of those qu...