Still Sovereign

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Every day is a new adventure or battle.  I sometimes feel I really have no words to say because it's all the same.  Get up and face the world, acknowledge your dependence on God in the face of trials, and trust in dark times that He is still Sovereign.  I think my little battles with learning to live more Biblically and more obediently are difficult.  Until I hear of news that is far worse than a failing grade on an exam...

 Yesterday yet another person threw himself off the platform of the train station on Long Island (I'm sad to say it happens a lot) and sometimes it is hard to understand God's role in all of this.  This idea of free will and allowing people to not come to know who He is and how He saves is such a mystery to me.  Is it for lack of people taking up their cross and sharing the Gospel, or because this person chose not to believe in God?  How could a person be left to a point of such hopelessness as to take his own life?  If it breaks my heart, how much more does it break the heart of the God who made him?  I'm sort of getting off topic here, this isn't what I meant to write about, but I guess it's what's really on my heart this morning...  How do I face such a dying and broken world and complain about my life, when I know the answer that a lot of hearts are searching for?  The only thought that I can lean on in this moment is "He is still sovereign."  He knows, He sees, and He is merciful.  As many have often said, we may not see it on this side of heaven, but God has a plan and purpose and He makes beautiful things out of the dust.

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